All I want for my two front teeth is a bottle of Jack Daniels

How many people do you know who are missing both front teeth?  Must be a pretty big list.  Is it just a matter of waking up & brushing your teeth in the morning?  And then again at night before you go to bed?

Can't be as simple as that.  We might have to take into account genetics/DNA, too.  Maybe some people are just born with weak teeth.  I brush my teeth on a pretty regular basis.  They've been very good to me over the years because they have stood by my side for so long.  I get to eat foods that require thorough chewing.  Corn nuts, chips, carrots, steaks- you name it.  I can't imagine living without them.  I'm going to credit my having a full set of chompers to both brushing & being blessed with strong, healthy teeth.

Moving on, let's gather up your list of people you came up with that are missing a great deal of their teeth.  Now separate your list into four categories.  You'll have:

1)People that try hard to maintain their teeth, but lose them anyway

2)People that lost them in an accident of some sort

3)People that are old, but usually end up getting fake ones

4)People that just don't give a hoot

Let's focus on the fourth group.  Dang, these people need to look in the mirror at their teeth once in a while.  What the hey, is it too much trouble to pick up a toothbrush once in a while? It's extremely hard to not notice when you're talking to them.  We won't get into specific details on this, because I'm sure you all know what I mean.

Not to bash alcoholics, but let's narrow this fourth group down even further to include only alcoholics.  I'm sure they all have reasons for living inside a bottle.  Being down on luck, perhaps.  Nothing against them, except when they try to bum money.  Now, after all of this- all I want to know is- did they get their front teeth bashed in with the butt end of a Jack Daniels bottle for hogging the last swig?  And how do they eat buttock bone soup?

The next time someone flashes you a big old smile full of missing teeth,  be sure to ask them what happened.  Don't forget to mention to brush those #$%^#&% things.