Growing your own 'organic' vegetables to sell to your neighbors at a high price in Bush Alaska

By Professor DLG'er

Welcome back, class!!! Greetings aside, we are going to dive straight into today's lesson. Let's use the following guide to learn how to grow our own organic vegetables to sell to our neighbors at high prices.

First on the list of to-dos is to order up a couple of high-tubes. We want to make sure that we know the barge shippers sailing schedule so that we don't have to use very expensive air cargo services at last minute.

We then want to order up the following items online:

1. Cool little stickers that say “Organic"
2. Seeds of our choice
3. Plant food, plant vitamins and other growth chemicals
4. An assortment of pesticides
5. Any other chemicals that we can find with convincing claims of “preserving freshness"

Now, we will construct our high-tubes and prepare our soil. Plant our seeds, when they arrive- making sure we use our wide variety of plant food/vitamins/growth chemicals. Once our seeds have sprouted- we'll keep the plants healthy by preventing any pesky insects from chomping down on them before we do. We do this with the use of our pesticides. Once our vegetables have grown nice and big, we will gather them and use our chemicals that “preserve freshness” and then slapping the “organic” stickers all over them.

The final and most important step is to come up with an insanely high price to sell them at and put the sale sign up!